I love to read, but there are very few books that I have read more than once. An exception is Timothy Ferriss' best-selling book The 4-Hour Workweek. In this book (and other "4-Hour" books/blogs by Ferriss) there are valuable ideas on "lifestyle design". The following are five “lifestyle design” ideas that are worth considering as we seek wellness:
1. “Many a false step was made by standing still" (fortune cookie). Naturally we tend to wait until everything is "just right" before we make any big change. According to Ferriss, “For all of the most important things...the stars will never align and the traffic lights of life will never all be green at the same time… ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave...” At some point we need to just get started and correct course along the way.
2. Simplicity is Powerful. "Slow down and remember...being busy is a form of laziness - lazy thinking is indiscriminate action." says Ferriss. On the other hand, he believes that the opposite of happiness is not sadness, but actually boredom, so the goal is not excess idle time, but rather, better use of our free-time. To do this, "focus on the important few and ignore the rest." he says. The bottom line: Lack of time is actually a lack of priorities!
“The most important thing in your life is not what you do; it’s who you become. That’s what you will take into eternity.”
3. Set Unrealistic but Actionable Steps: We need to stop wearing busyness like a badge of honor! How often have we or a friend answered the question, “How are you?” with something to the effect of “I am crazy busy and don’t have enough time in the day!” In order to correct course, Ferriss says we need to become unrealistic by asking ourselves, “What would you do if there was no way to fail?” and “If you were 10 times smarter than the rest of the world (what would you do)?” As we write down our answers to these questions (our dreamline), turn “being” into “doing actions”; for example, “a great cook” into “make a Christmas 4-course dinner for 10 people” or “travel” into “spend a month at the Croatian coast” or “be fit” into “run a marathon”. From your list of actions, identify the four most exciting and/or important dreams and write out the “now steps”, “tomorrow steps”, and “day after steps”. Creating a dreamline will guide our decisions, so that we know where to focus our energy.
4. The most important actions are seldom comfortable: Ferriss would go as far as saying, “what we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” By making a list of our fears and then doing them; we have a roadmap to radically improve our situation. Ferriss encourages us to do one thing every day that we fear. As we continue to put ourselves in uncomfortable and scary situations, we will be making progress towards our goals, while becoming less scared. Courage goes a long way in life!
Photo by Oliver Cole on Unsplash
5. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn. It is important to avoid underestimating the impact others' have on our lives. The attitudes of those we spend the most time with will influence our attitude. I often use the terms "friend" or "accomplice” when talking about making desired changes. Some will increase the likelihood our change plan succeeds while others with undermine the plan. It is critical to determine if those we are spending our time with are “energizers” or “energy drains”. There is a time and place to lean into those “energy drains” and positively impact a situation, but this needs to be intentional, knowing that who we spend our time with impacts our well-being.
None of this can be done without building margin!
As an extrovert I gain energy from being around others. My husband, on the other hand, is an introvert, so early in our marriage these differences created some hurdles. We negotiated our social schedule, and found a plan that worked for both of us. What I neglected to see at that time was even extroverts need to build margin into their lives. Without margin we are likely to find more stress and anxiety, so our wellbeing suffers.
Margin comes from plenty of blank space, both literally and metaphorically. Our physical and emotional space (or lack there of) impacts how we respond to the unexpected events that will inevitably come our way. I’ve heard margin described as “the space that separates us from our limits”. When we give ourselves room to breathe the world becomes a much healthier place.
Lifestyle Design starts and ends with building margin!
Photo by duong chung on Unsplash
practical Ways To Add Margin:
Here are some suggestions for breaking the cycle of busy, and creating an adventurous, connected joy-filled life through building margin.
Tip 1: Schedule Time Between Activities. For example, arrive places early.
Tip 2: Create a Morning Routine. The morning sets the tone for the day.
Tip 3: Stick to Three Priorities a Day. Ask, “If I can only get three things done today…?”
Tip 4: Tame Errands. Batch and eliminate errands while using routines and rituals.
Tip 5: Identify Time Eaters. Limit social media and busy work.
Tip 6: Organize with 20% Empty Space. Start purging closets, cupboards etc.
Tip 7: Analyze Noise and Its Impact. At times, listen to classical music, nature sounds, or silence.
Tip 8: Find Energizers. Certain activities increase energy, and make us feel like we have more time.
Tip 9: Check Assumptions: Will the world end if I no longer own this responsibility?!?
Tip 10: Let It Go: Can I control it? Should I control it? Let go. Let God! Repeat.
“Am I being productive or just active? Am I inventing things to do to avoid the important?”
I cannot function without margin. When I push myself right up to capacity I become anxious, cranky, and can’t think straight. My health benefits from explicitly creating more margin in my life. How about you?
Let’s help each other fight the “someday” disease by using lifestyle design to move from busyness to intentionality!
Wendy Dellis is a certified wellness coach. She joins years of training and work in the area of behavior change, experience as a fitness instructor and run club coordinator with a passion for adventure and people. She lives in Minnesota with her husband, Jay, and two sons.
The information contained on this page is for general information purposes only. Nothing here should be construed as medical or healthcare advice, but only topics for discussion. No physician-patient relationship exists; please consult your physician before making changes in diet or lifestyle.