How long does it take to build a habit? Well, it's not 21 days or a month like we were told. According to research, there is considerable variability, but the average is actually....66 days! Interestingly, the researchers discovered that it doesn’t matter if you mess up every now and then. Building better habits is not an all-or-nothing process! The following quick examples, challenge us to adjust our mindset around the goal attainment process by considering focusing on quantity, chain building and celebrating failure along the way.
In the book Art & Fear, we hear a surprising story that offers insight into getting habits to stick.
“The ceramics teacher announced that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.
His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pounds of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”.
Well, grading time came and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity!
It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work — and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat around theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.”
Another example that highlights the importance of our mindset when it comes to habits is about Jerry Seinfeld! Years ago, when he was a touring comic, he used a simple technique to motivate himself that can work for us. On a wall calendar, he would put a big red X over each day he spent time writing. As the chain grew he became increasingly motivated to "not break the chain"! This strategy can be used for any healthy habit we are trying to build. Whether you are using a wall calendar or the Habitbull app, seeing the length of the chain grow is surprisingly energizing! Simply put, repeated daily action builds extraordinary outcomes!
Our third and final story is about Sara Blakely, the Spanx CEO. Growing up her father used to ask her and her brother nightly how they had failed that day, and celebrate their failures with a high five and way-to-go. Through this her definition of failure changed; it became not trying verses not achieving a certain outcome. As a part of this process her father would encourage her to identify the hidden gifts and what she learned from the experience.
Photo by Christoffer Engström on Unsplash
As we work to build healthy habits, so much of the challenge is to just get started. When we stop asking ourselves to be perfect, and instead focus on jumping in and trying, we have the opportunity to celebrate and learn along the way. These stories remind us that when you focus more on the repetition of the desired behavior and less on doing everything "just right" you will:
1. Create momentum and avoid being stuck before you get started.
2. Be able to learn from your failures and in turn produce greater quality in the long run.
Jump on in!!
Wendy Dellis is a certified wellness coach. She joins years of training and work in the area of behavior change, experience as a fitness instructor and run club coordinator with a passion for adventure and people. She lives in Minnesota with her husband, Jay, and two sons.
The information contained on this page is for general information purposes only. Nothing here should be construed as medical or healthcare advice, but only topics for discussion. No physician-patient relationship exists; please consult your physician before making changes in diet or lifestyle.